“Eventually your kid will fall asleep.” This was the advice I was given when I was asking people for advice before I took my first long-haul flight with Lincoln.
But it’s not really true, sometimes babies just don’t sleep on the plane. There’s lots you can do to try to help. I wrote all about it Flying with a Baby and How to Help your Baby Sleep When Traveling. And being prepared helps 100%, but it doesn’t guarantee that they’ll sleep.
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The struggle is real – (a.k.a. a very short story about babies not sleeping on the plane)
“They might cry for a bit,” I was told, “but eventually babies fall asleep on the plane. The noise and motion are soothing to them you know.” I was thinking about this nugget of wisdom last week when flying 8 hours from Iceland. Lincoln had been up for over 20 hours and was jumping off the arm rests between Matt and I.
This was the third international flight that he had not slept a wink and I began trying (…again) to convince him to sleep by walking the aisles holding him. As we passed the same passengers again and again, I fell into the normal routine. Passed the older couples who smile kindly at me. The husbands always try to talk to Link (WHY??!) and the wives give me an encouraging look that seems to say “I’ve been there too”. Passed the rows of people watching movies. Tripping into the same sleeping guy whose legs are sprawled across the tiny aisle. Awkwardly dancing around the people trying to pass me to get to the bathrooms. Then turn around and do it again. Smile, trip, dance, turn.
Link wasn’t giving in and was starting to blow kisses and give high fives to one particular older gentleman. I started to notice a particular mom with a very little baby having a similar struggle.
This poor baby was miserably tired but refusing to sleep, and her mom had tried everything. Cartoons, noise machine, binkie, rocking, nursing, whatever she could think of.
On some of my passes we made eye contact and I could see the stress and exhaustion in her face. It was my turn to try to give an encouraging smile and offer to help. Her baby wouldn’t sleep on the plane either!
So you're saying that babies never really sleep on the plane?
Of course, I’m not saying that. Babies sleep through entire flights, short and long, every day. I’ve had friends brag about their kids sleeping all the way to Europe or Asia. (Ok they just tell me… but I’m jealous so I say brag.)
I’ve gotten Lincoln to sleep on many flights before, but never for an entire flight. There’s been a few times that he’s been awake for a solid 24-36 hours and nothing I do convinces him to sleep. I’m here to help you in those times.
Just know momma (or dad), that it’s not just you! You don’t have a bad baby and not everyone else has it together.
Babies just have good and bad days but these 4 tips will help you to convince your tired stubborn baby to sleep while flying or to help you both get through the flight if they simply refuse to sleep.
Don’t take EVERYTHING with you! You’ll get disorganized in the first 3 minutes and lose half of it. You take a huge step towards getting your baby or toddler to peacefully sleep through the flight if you start with the right stuff.
Comfort objects
- This helps give something familiar in a very unfamiliar environment
For Link this is mainly his binky (although we are trying to say goodbye to this the next few months *fingers crossed*). Babies love to suck. It’s comforting to them and it also is important to help prevent ear pain when flying. - Blankets to make a soft bed
- Special toys or stuffed animals
Baby carrier
Little babies love to be close to you and so baby carrier helps them feel safe and warm. Link loved it when he was tiny (and I loved the snuggles!). Now as a wiggly toddler he knows he’s stuck in it so he seems to give up on the sleep fight sooner if he knows he can’t run around.
I love this baby carrier for a million reasons and I talk about it all the time to my friends. You can adjust it in 6 different positions (so your back doesn’t die) and use it up to 45 lbs. Read more about what I love about it.
You can give your baby different “sleepy-time” ques to help their little brain switch from play to sleep time on the plane. Put them in their pjs (dress them warm, planes can be cold!), with a clean diaper. Feed them their dinner and brush teeth (or tooth). Do the things you normally do at home to put them to bed like reading a book or singing a lullaby.
All these ques help tell baby’s brain that it’s time to go to sleep!
Read more about this in how to get your baby to sleep on a plane.
When I think back of this poor mom I passed, I think one of the problems she didn’t realize was that she was stimulating the baby too much. And we’ve done it too! But you wouldn’t turn on lots of screens with noise, lights and movement at home to get your baby to sleep. On an already busy plane she might have had more luck with turning it all off. …Or maybe not. Babies are hard to get to sleep on a plane!
When one thing you are trying to get your baby to sleep on the plane isn’t working, take a deep breath and try something new.
Walk the aisle. Try different sleeping positions. Nurse. Put them in the carrier. Try a binkie. Nurse. I sometimes make Link sit in my lap (while he cries until he suddenly gives up and passes out). Nurse. Tell quiet stories. Did I mention nursing?
And if nothing really works, maybe just accept they won’t sleep. That might help you stop stressing about it. It’s why I said to take a deep breath. Babies are babies and you can only do so much.
Take advantage of little moments to catch some sleep or relax. If you’re with others take turns sleeping or on child-duty. If baby takes a little nap, you should too. If they are at least watching a cartoon, rest your eyes or really savor that plastic cup of spicy tomato juice in peace. If a little grandma offers to take them for a bit, let her hold and play with them for a minute!
I’m not saying, “Just relax and don’t stress about the fact that you won’t have slept in over 24 hours and then need to figure out how to get money and to your hotel in a country you don’t know the language and you still have to parent a ridiculously over-tired baby.” I just mean that stressing about it just makes all that harder.
Instead make a game plan for what you are going to do when you land if your baby didn’t sleep a wink on the plane.
I keep caffeine pills in my toiletries bag (These are the ones I use. They are high in caffeine and have other ingredients, like coconut oil, to help keep your energy longer and not crash). When I am tired or hangry, I get quiet. When I get off a flight like this… I get VERY quiet and don’t want to make decisions. These are AMAZING when I feel like I am about to crash to carry me through until we can sleep. Just be sure to make sure your stomach isn’t empty when you take it or you might get jittery!
Depending on when your flight lands and when you can check into your hotel you might still have a long time until you can finally sleep! If you don’t want to push through the day exhausted look at hotels you can rent by the hour. Yes. I’m serious.
I felt pretty weird searching for by the hour hotels for my family… But it’s something you can definitely do! Catch a little rest and then go on with your day until you can check in and really go to sleep. Some airports have options inside, but these aren’t always baby friendly and can be pretty expensive.
One option that I love is a company called BYHOURS that sells blocks of time at popular hotels for a good price. Many of their options are right by airports (which often means free and direct transport to the hotel) so you can go to sleep right after landing. AirBnB can also be a great option.
Matt and Link CRASHED after the loooong flight to London with a layover in Iceland.
Try all these tricks and they might work to get your baby to sleep on the plane. Or maybe not. But it’s ok and I promise it’s still worth it to travel with kids!
Now I have better advice for parents worried about their babies sleeping on the plane…
No matter what, the flight always ends.
Some will go great and some might make you hate traveling and eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s when you get home. But the flight will always eventually end and you and baby both get some space from each other… and go to sleep.
What's been your experience with babies sleeping on the plane?
